Hello to friends and family. As you all know I have been writing. Finally, I have dropped the first chapter to a book I am trying to author. I know many of you may not instinctually gravitate to science fiction. Hopefully, you’ll take the time to give it a serious read. I assure you I will appreciate it. This is a rough draft. It shouldn’t get too wide of an exposure out there on the internet, so I feel a bit more comfortable publishing raw on my website.
I’m open to feedback. I’m curious to see how you react to things like names I’ve used for characters, places and various items in this story. I’m not wedded to any of them. Let me know if the pacing and balance between description and dialog works. Do you feel a connection with any of the characters? Are they believable? The name of the book is tentative of course.
If I subconsciously wrote too close to some other story you know of please, please speak out. It’s hard sometime to know if an idea has come from something read or watched years ago.
Anyone with military experience I would love to get your opinion on the ranks I use for characters. I really was grasping when deciding how to title officers etc.
Hope you enjoy!
I attached a direct link to the story here.
Mythos Creative Writing 
Just read your first chapter. I think the story line is good and has a number of possible paths which makes it interesting. The prison on Jupiter sounds ominous. And the choosing of rival cartels, again, points to multiple plot twists which should make you future chapters un-predictable. i like the characters and look forward to their further development.
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I was lost at first. I didn’t read your synopsis on your home page. It went directly to page one. Looking forward to reading Chapter 2.
Noticed one typo under Lt. La Croix section
The two men looked at each other quickly and then pack to the lieutenant.
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